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Author Topic: World Cup!!  (Read 27496 times)

Offline Christina

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World Cup!!
« on: May 30 2010, 11:28 AM »
Just for the sake of scientific research I thought I'd post the following for all you guys who will be glued to the TV in the next few weeks. 



A distinguished professor has found after extensive research there are 2 sizes of penis amongst men in England, those which fall within the normal size range and those which are less than 2 inches erect.  The professor has appealed for help to continue his research,  Could all men in England with extremely small penises make themselves known over the next 6 weeks by flying a white flag with a red cross from their cars......

 

Take care when you're thinking about buying that flag!!

Chris x
not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

barbara

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #1 on: May 30 2010, 12:04 PM »
Oh ! How I like it Chris. ;D ;D
Barbara

Offline desperatehousewife

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #2 on: May 30 2010, 12:30 PM »
Hi all,
There's a car with 4 flags driving round here - right bunch of small pricks eh?
Kath xxx

Offline cork.wobbler

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #3 on: May 30 2010, 12:31 PM »
I will need a big flag to compensate. ;D

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #4 on: May 31 2010, 01:16 PM »


As an English kid moved to Wales in the days of Meibion Glyndwr and bilingual schools I latched onto the George cross as a symbol of pride in who I was and where I was from. I was sent home from school for refusing to take off a red rose on St Georges day (it was antagonistic), barred from pubs for England tops, flags and I have sported it in one form or another ever since leaving Wales, including all through the period that it was allowed to be 'owned' by far right wankers. It was never theirs and never shall be. However the continued shunning of the flag by the many 'normal' folk means that sadly a disproportionate amount of the people that fly it are in fact racist and your scientist as a consequence will get plenty of positive feed back due to the inadequate nature of the average racists undercarriage. I can attest there are plenty in Wales (and Scotland) and they will not be flying flags this summer for any reason at all.

this is very good

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/05/24/stupid-drivers-forced-to-display-white-flags-with-red-cross/

yachydda
PW

mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

Offline Gibson335

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #5 on: Jun 01 2010, 07:58 AM »
I love the joke, but then the thread descends into something that really grinds my gears. I am sick and tired of having the flag associated with racism. I wear a George Cross lapel pin, and was once confronted by a snarling yob who demanded to know if I was 'BNP'.  After pointing out that BNP is the 'British' national party, and my national allegience was to England, hence the different flag, through his slack jaw he managed to stammer 'Still racist, innit'.  In polite tones that suggested an impending act of violence upon his person, I told him to go away and come back and talk to me after he'd found his missing brain cells.

Unfortunately, due to the acts of a small minority, the national flag will forever be linked with racism. I refuse, however, to bow to their ignorance.
I intend to live forever...so far so good.

Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #6 on: Jun 01 2010, 09:07 AM »
Whoa steady!  This is just a silly joke - no racism intended or implied.  Sorry if I've hit a nerve for some or offended others.  Am happy to remove the whole thread if necessary.

Chris x
not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #7 on: Jun 01 2010, 11:01 AM »

I brought up the link racism Chris, which maybe I shouldn't. Can't resist a bit of contentiousness sometimes, invariably to my detriment. No offense intended to the decent Welsh (of whom I am particularly fond) or Scottish and every offense intended to racists of any country. I think it's healthy for us to exchange views but if you want to delete that's up to you cause it's a heavy topic. The issues are very close to my heart. Stoke City fans and England football fans have a certain reputation and neither will go away if the decent fans don't show their colours or bring up the issues. Maybe I was treading on thin ice defending flag fliers while attempting to maintain the jokes thrust and aiming it at racists instead. It's very possible I shouldn't have bothered. ???

I am sick and tired of it too Tonyf. It is better than it was ten years ago but there is a way to go and I'm clarifying the general thrust of my post is that there's nowt wrong with flying the flag of your country and everything wrong with the racists that taint them.

Peace out bredren.
PW



Edit: In summary - hate racism, not the flag.  8)

Sorry if I've been a downer. I could juggle? Do a conjuring trick? How about unicycling in a George cross lycra leotard? To lighten it up again. No.., ok.  :-[
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #8 on: Jun 01 2010, 11:18 AM »
Hi PW

I don't mind too much either way really, just didn't want to be the one to start something which wasn't intended. I posted it as a joke that made me smile and thought it would appeal to others who like a laugh on the forum but perhaps I didn't think it through carefully enough in my attempt to bring humour. I hadn't considered the possible racist slant on flag flying  :-[  I'll wait to see what others feel.

Chris x

not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

Offline desperatehousewife

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #9 on: Jun 01 2010, 12:10 PM »
Hi all,
I must be an ostrich, I had no idea of racist connections, just enjoyed the joke...anything that makes me laugh is welcome!
Take care Kath xxx

Offline skipperted

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #10 on: Jun 01 2010, 12:47 PM »
It's a good joke Chris, made me laugh.  ;D
Taken with the intentions intended.

Now I fly a very large Union flag at my allotment, only when in residence, of course.
Does that mean I could be considered small in all parts of the UK !! :D
Make at least one person smile each day.

If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain

Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #11 on: Jun 02 2010, 12:33 PM »
I'm glad it's not just me with my head in the sand Kath!  Fat chance actually - that would just about finish me off!!

Skipper - glad it tickled your fancy!

Chris x
not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

Offline Tara

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #12 on: Jun 02 2010, 01:43 PM »
Chris,
Have to say that I read this and really giggled and now every time I see one on a car, I smirk to myself and look a bit closer at the driver - oh how true it is ( in most cases!!)

Thanks for the giggle,
Tara x

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #13 on: Jun 02 2010, 02:05 PM »


I don't think anyone was implying the joke was racist really. It's just me being over sensitive about being an English football fan and being tarred with a brush of the numpties. Have had a lot of arguments over the years and usually about the time of the world cup. Sorry Chris et al.


Crouchaldino will do it.
PW
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

Offline Tara

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #14 on: Jun 02 2010, 02:10 PM »
I agree PW, course Crouchy will do it, he is fab and ex Liverpool to whom I am loyal!
x

SHARON

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #15 on: Jun 02 2010, 06:18 PM »
I found it funny Chris ....and I chuckled at your link too PW.......but I've had a real snigger at the one regarding the female benefit cheats which is on the same page as PW's link, under the caption "more from UK news".
Anybody on benefits who is easily offended....don't read it!!
Sharon xx

Edit...I've just scrolled down and read more...they are hilarious....especially the toothbrushing one!!
Thanks PW...cheered me up no end

Offline Tara

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #16 on: Jun 02 2010, 06:27 PM »
Likewise Sharon, v funny  ;D



SHARON

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #17 on: Jun 02 2010, 06:42 PM »
If you want a really good laugh....check out the website  http://www.darwinawards.com/
 
And look under urban legends. Gerbil Rocket is one of my all time faves!!

Offline marie

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #18 on: Jun 06 2010, 04:15 PM »
well at least ye are in the world cup and can fly some flags on cars we have nothing to look forward to,  so we cant tell if they are small p....s  or big ones lol ::)

Kath

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #19 on: Jun 06 2010, 08:06 PM »
Was it Ireland who were robbed by the hand of Henry? Travesty that was.

I saw a car in Norwich today with Engerland 6 flags on - is that a record?
I dont' have any England flags on my car (and have  no plans as they would last 5 microseconds in my house) but I was guilty of doing up my car in green and yellow when Norwich won League 1 last month so I can't really have a pop at other peoples festooning.

Greeno for England No 1!!!!!!!!!!

Offline Susie

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #20 on: Jun 06 2010, 08:20 PM »
It makes me laugh being a Scot when I travel in England for work which is often to see all these flags on cars,personally think its silly and would think the same if it was Scottish ones in the chosen land..... ;)
Thought the same during my 10 years living in Cambridge.
Thought Chris's 1st post on this thread was HILARIOUS.... :)
"Some mornings... it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps"

Offline marie

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #21 on: Jun 07 2010, 07:28 PM »
Yes Kath it was Ireland that was robbed by the hands of henry :'(

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #22 on: Jun 11 2010, 01:42 PM »


It's world cup day. Wooohoooo. Got a telly in the shop and my flags a flying! (make of that what you will  ;) ) Glad to see South Africans making the most of their opportunity to fly their flags proudly in the gaze of the whole world. Here's to a successful tournament for Africa. Really hope they get a result today.


:D Enjoy!
PW
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

Offline Daisy

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #23 on: Jun 11 2010, 02:04 PM »
Round our way there are loads of flags adorning windows, shops, gardens I think its great and makes me feel quite patriotic. Will be in the other room tho when football on. We are going to Dorset tomorrow and my hubby wants to take his world cup poster to put up on the wall in the caravan.  ::)
Enjoy your footy pw

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #24 on: Jun 11 2010, 02:10 PM »


Thanks and please let him put his poster up ( it's called a wall chart and he will diligently fill it in until England get knocked out and it will thence remain blank). Ah the tradition of it all.
:)

whoop whoop
PW
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

ManiloonySally

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #25 on: Jun 11 2010, 02:45 PM »
Don't all shoot me, but am i the only person that hates football??   :P

Sally x

barbara

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #26 on: Jun 11 2010, 02:54 PM »
Nope your not Sally. I don't like it either :o

Barbara

Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #27 on: Jun 11 2010, 03:43 PM »
I do like football, so I'll be watching with my husband - but I like lots of sport on TV including rugby, and Wimbledon!!

Chris x
not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

ManiloonySally

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #28 on: Jun 11 2010, 04:43 PM »
Glad i'm not the only one, but have to say, i will watch the England matches and always have done.  My first Husband, god i sound like Elizabeth Taylor! was football mad, supported Manchester united, so it was always on then.. second Husband hated it, but i hated his programmes too, now i can watch anything i like LOL.. don't worry there won't be a Husband #3 ..  :D

Sally x

Kath

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #29 on: Jun 11 2010, 04:57 PM »
Hi all, can't wait for World Cup and watching England, especially if Robert Green is goal (I still think of him as Norwich City in a deluded way). I will have put up with the groans from my first husband who hates football in general, although he has been known to take notice (in a mocking way) when England enter into their penalty shoot-outs. (When Norwich lost on penalties in the Div 1 play off final in 2002 he was insufferable).
Enough of my domestics!

Sally, never say never!

(Glad not to be near all those vuvuzela horns blowing all the while - God help us MDers if they got into UK football grounds!!)

On the Ball England
Kx

Offline Susie

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #30 on: Jun 11 2010, 05:14 PM »
Afraid I am with Sally and Barbara re football (and its nothing to do with being Scottish) ;)
Unfortunately I will have to watch it as my hubby wants to see it and we are still in the 1st flush of marriage (1 year next Saturday and they said it would never last LOL).
To those who love it enjoy.
Susie.
"Some mornings... it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps"

SHARON

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #31 on: Jun 11 2010, 06:26 PM »
I'll watch the England games if only to watch Gazza cry........he is still playing isn't he?
Sharon x

ManiloonySally

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #32 on: Jun 11 2010, 07:18 PM »
Sharon, you just want another excuse to eat ginger biscuits and lemon puffs  ;D

Sally x

Kath

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #33 on: Jun 12 2010, 01:33 PM »
My world cup wall chart was put up yesterday evening and it still there this morning! :o Result.

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #34 on: Jun 12 2010, 02:03 PM »
My world cup wall chart was put up yesterday evening and it still there this morning! :o Result.

So it should be Kath. With 2 filled in games.  :D

Sharron and Sally, you appear to have an unhealthy obsession with ginger puffs or whatever.
Take up football and wall charts, it's much more rewarding.

PW
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

ManiloonySally

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #35 on: Jun 12 2010, 02:43 PM »
Ok so explain a wall chart.. yes i'm thick  :D  to be honest, i hate football, but am actually looking forward to tonights match!!   8)

Sally x

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #36 on: Jun 12 2010, 02:54 PM »
You did ask.
In any newspaper including the freebies there will have been free wall chart (poster.., ahem) that has blanks next to all the games. You eagerly fill in the results and as the tournament progresses you map out everyone's progress and all the permutations of who may meet whom in the later stages. To be honest in these times of permanent internet access it is purely a matter of tradition for the aging footie fans of old. The super new post premiership kids probably think it's pointless which, of course, it is.  ??? :D
Sound like fun?  ;)

http://www.marca.com/deporte/futbol/mundial/sudafrica-2010/calendario-english.html

^^this is the modern equivalent^^

are you still awake?

it's a bit early in your fandom for the complete geekiness of wall charts

looking forward to the game too, but it's very much an everything to lose situation

ramble ramble

Nigeria Argentina now, come on you super Eagles
PW


PS in case I've not been clear enough here is an expert explaining the 94 world cup
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4SuR8hTGMI&feature=player_embedded
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

ManiloonySally

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #37 on: Jun 12 2010, 03:43 PM »
Wow to think i would never have known .. very interesting PW, i have learnt something new about football  :D  to be honest, i'd rather by a handbag!!  :P

Sally x

Kath

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #38 on: Jun 12 2010, 04:01 PM »
Thanks for that highly informative post on world cup wall charts past and present day PW. I was rather taken by the marca.com one, but you're right it doesn't have the right same feel as the genuine article.  There can be no doubt about the necessity for a wall chart after watching Alan Partridge's Socarama.  :) :goodstuff:

I'm actually beginning to feel proper nervous about tonight and hoping it's not a repeat of 60 years ago (Eng 0 USA 1) that they've been reminding us about today on the telly .

Hope everyone has a spin free match :dance2:
Kx

SHARON

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #39 on: Jun 12 2010, 06:04 PM »
I'll watch the England matches but as for any of the others.....I'd rather watch paint dry!!!

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #40 on: Jun 13 2010, 02:35 PM »



I feel your pain Kath. Ex players are like old friends and it's not nice when everyone hates your old friends. Was a clanger though.  :-[

We can't afford another.  ???

Plus points, Lennon/ Johnson looked lively going forward, Terry was awesome and did the work of three men, Heskey played well, Gerrard looking like a captain.

Gorging on the feast of football
PW






mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #41 on: Jun 13 2010, 03:44 PM »
Poor Rob Green - I really felt for him.  Must have felt awful!!

Watching England in international tournaments is never without stress, hiding behind pillows and pulling covers over our heads!

Looking forward to the match next Fri.

Chris x
not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

Kath

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #42 on: Jun 13 2010, 03:49 PM »
Thanks PW and Chis, it was very painful wasn't it ; what a catastrophic blunder ::). I just had this horrid feeling that it was going to happen like this for Green, he always seems gittery when he plays for England. The Croatian bobble finished off Robinson's England goalkeeping career so I feel some inevitability that this will finish off Green. Now I'm worried it is going to be a vicious circle of more nervousness and more mistakes.  "Hand of Clod" was a headline on one of the tabloid this morning I saw. Ergghhhh....
There were some plus points,  we didn't lose at least and I was only slightly dizzy by the end  :)
Bring on Friday, Flags a go go!!
Kathxx




Offline shell

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #43 on: Jun 13 2010, 07:27 PM »
my fella and kid are watching loads of matches those horns sound like a drone of bees and are doing my head in,hope noone in south africa has md.

barbara

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #44 on: Jun 13 2010, 07:56 PM »
Hi Shell,
The long drone of the horns made me sleepy. Wasn't really watching but my family were here and they were. I just wanted to go to sleep.
Barbara

Kath

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #45 on: Jun 18 2010, 12:11 PM »
Hi all you Menierian WC football watchers out there this Friday lunchtime.

My nerves are starting to jangle again. When's Fabs going to annouce his team selection?  :-X
I think I'll be making full use of any available cushions to hide behind this evening.  :doh: :nailbiter:
Come on Engand :clap: :clap: :clap:
(can't find an emoticon for scared)

Enjoyed Mexico whop France's backside yesterday evening. France were pants.

Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #46 on: Jun 18 2010, 01:09 PM »



Feel confident about tonight. Want to avoid too many cards and hopefully James in goal. Which if I'm honest I think it should have been all along. He's not perfect but has more of that enigmatic thing that a goalie needs than Green in my opinion.

Mexico were very good. The ref in the Germany Serbia game has gone card mental. He should never ref again, useless.


Very tired and busy at the moment but reveling in  football heaven and not missing a match (Selling handbags to the sound of the vuvuzela)
PW
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #47 on: Jun 18 2010, 02:48 PM »
Good for you PW  ;).  Just watched the Germany/Serbia game too - how  many of the great European teams are getting beaten eh?  Fingers crossed for tonight mate.

Chris xx
not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

Kath

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #48 on: Jun 18 2010, 05:44 PM »



Feel confident about tonight. Want to avoid too many cards and hopefully James in goal. Which if I'm honest I think it should have been all along. He's not perfect but has more of that enigmatic thing that a goalie needs than Green in my opinion.

Mexico were very good. The ref in the Germany Serbia game has gone card mental. He should never ref again, useless.


Very tired and busy at the moment but reveling in  football heaven and not missing a match (Selling handbags to the sound of the vuvuzela)
PW

I'll do my best! Clod (PRG) out, Calamity in I see .....

SHARON

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Re: World Cup!!
« Reply #49 on: Jun 18 2010, 09:53 PM »
Oh dear  :(