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Author Topic: World Cup jokes  (Read 3873 times)

Kath

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World Cup jokes
« on: Jun 20 2010, 12:56 PM »
Hi all,

Saw these in one of the Sunday newspapers today, I expect they are doing the rounds, but might raise a laugh:

- Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopoing trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticced an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.
He stopped and asked "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied: "No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

- What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A referee.

- What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.

- Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer (didn't like that one!)

- I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten.......
I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian. ;D ;D

- What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney?
The jet engine eventually stops whining.

and finally...

- Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room, Robert Green was guading the door. ::)


Offline potters whirl

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #1 on: Jun 20 2010, 04:21 PM »


The England team went to an orphanage this morning.
"It was humbling to put a little smile on their faces and give them a little hope"
said Bongani Mphela aged 6


still semi's
PW
mostly, you'll find me doing exactly what I shouldn't be

Offline cork.wobbler

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #2 on: Jun 21 2010, 01:32 PM »
Keep  'em coming. :)

SHARON

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #3 on: Jun 21 2010, 02:48 PM »
Apparently, the England FA is under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion.  Word is they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 44 years.   :)

'Rooney,' said the coach angrily after a disastrous match, 'your playing was lousy. You're a disgrace to the team.'
'Don't pay any attention to him, Wayne,' said a team-mate, trying to be encouraging.  'He doesn't know what he's talking about.  He only repeats what everybody else says.'  ;)

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the coal mine, while Snow White stayed at home as usual to cook their lunch.  However, when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.
Tearfully, Snow White shouted down the mine shaft: 'Hello - is anyone there.  Can you hear me, Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Happy, Grumpy or Sneezy?' (She knew it would be no good calling Sleepy.)
Then a voice floated up from the bowels of the mine: 'England will win the 2010 World Cup'. ' Thank God!' said Snow White, 'at least Dopey's still alive!'  :)


Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #4 on: Jun 25 2010, 11:46 AM »
Here's some more!!

England have turned down a £70million deal with a dog food company. Fans said the thought of the team wearing a shirt with WINALOT on the front was really taking the piss.



Because of Wednesday night’s outstanding performance Capello has relaxed his hard line regime and has allowed all the WAGS to visit John Terry.



The World Cup has turned out like WW2! The French surrendered early, the USA arrived last minute and we are left to fight the Germans!


Tee Hee
Chris xx

not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

SHARON

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #5 on: Jun 25 2010, 12:05 PM »
Not a joke as such...but my hubby thought it hilarious
I was sat watching TV last night using my laptop and wearing my specs. My husband said something to me and as I turned my head to answer him he said do that again, you reminded me of someone when you looked up.

"Got it!!!" he shouted "You look just like Fabio Capello!!"
Bloody cheek.....
Divorce papers being drawn up as we speak ;D

Sharon xx

Kath

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #6 on: Jun 25 2010, 09:11 PM »
 ;D ;D Could have been worse Sharon, he could have said you looked like Postman Pat !   There is a Facebook page dedicated to "Fabio Capello looks like Postman Pat", you could join Sharon!




SHARON

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #7 on: Jun 25 2010, 09:47 PM »
When my hair needs cutting I'm told I look like Myra Hindley, sunbathing in the garden he calls me Dawn French.....good thing I've the skin of a rhino!! (and obviously the body of one too!)
Mind you there is a certain person on this forum (mentioning no names DH but you know who you are!!!) who said I sounded like the Vicar of Dibley with my Devonshire accent!!!

I think Capello looks like Postman Pat too.....I look nothing like that....I'm more like Mrs Goggins  ;D ;D
 

Offline Christina

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #8 on: Jun 25 2010, 11:12 PM »
Fabio looks like one of those old guys on The Muppets to me - something about his nose and eyes.

Chris x
not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ...

Kath

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #9 on: Jun 26 2010, 11:51 AM »


I think Capello looks like Postman Pat too.....I look nothing like that....I'm more like Mrs Goggins  ;D ;D
 

I'm having a Miss Hubbard kind of day myself Sharon !

Kx

Kath

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #10 on: Jun 26 2010, 12:12 PM »

Offline desperatehousewife

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Re: World Cup jokes
« Reply #11 on: Jun 26 2010, 11:45 PM »
Luvvly accent Fabio!  No, no, no, no, YES it is!
Kath xx