Author Topic: Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD  (Read 315 times)

Offline harry

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Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD
« on: Jun 05 2019, 02:27 PM »
Many of us have and do suffer from periods of Anxiety, lack of confidence and the occasional panic attack as part of daily life with MD. We worry about all sorts of things and can have some days when we just feel sad.

We have friends and family who can help us and support us but as much as they want to sometimes they just can't quite seem to understand. They might sometimes say the wrong thing like " be positive and it will be alright" " I know what you mean" and " You need to be strong" when all we want is a hug and someone to listen.

I wanted to share a couple of things that have helped me over the years.

1/ Find and have someone who will just give you a hug and just listen. So that you can just express how you feel that day. Often once you have expressed how you feel you start to feel a bit better.

2/ Go to your GP and get some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) It just helps you look at things in a different way. Helps you to accept and realise your position and options. As well as some useful self help techniques.

3/ There is a book called The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters. It's a good read and helps to manage the way you think about things.

Don't get me wrong. I still have Anxiety, worries and life with MD can get me down some days. Always will, but sometimes we just need a bit of extra help and I have found some ideas in 2 & 3 that have helped along the way. I have managed to implement some of these ideas at times when life is very stressful.

Remember

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING TO CHANGE THEN YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY

I can't change MD but i can change the way i think about it and not allow it to control me and my daily life.

Some days it works and some days it doesn't !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But with MD no two days are the same.






Offline Gildo

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Re: Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD
« Reply #1 on: Jun 05 2019, 02:38 PM »
Thank you Harry for your words of wisdom. We all have sad days that only we understand. Sometimes a hug is all we need and sometimes professional support is the only solution. I will certainly take on board your recommendations because right now i need support and solutions  :)

Offline chrissieg

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Re: Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD
« Reply #2 on: Jun 09 2019, 08:48 AM »
I do agree with Harry about the usefulness of CBT. Even though I undertook talking type therapies daily in my work , it hadn't sunk in that I needed to practice what I preached. You can be referred by your GP but there could be a long wait. I was fortunate that my employers agreed to pay for 6 sessions for me when I was struggling emotionally with the diagnosis and changes in my capabilities and independence.

Many large employers , especially public sector, have contracts with  counsellors or psychologists to help staff in situations such as bereavement, traumatic work place incidents, working with challenging people/environments. It may be worth asking whether you can get CBT through work in order to do your job more reliably.
 I think I mainly cried for the first 2 sessions but even that did me good! Then we moved on to practical help with re -thinking the situation and developing coping strategies. I still use those techniques today 9 years on. And if you can change what you think , you can then change what you feel and increase confidence .

Chrissie
Chrissieg

Offline ladar

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Re: Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD
« Reply #3 on: Jun 26 2019, 04:22 PM »
I don’t want to put a damper on things but I had a course of CBT a few years ago, just after I had been properly diagnosed,  which unfortunately didn’t really help.  The psychologist seemed to focus purely on the tinnitus aspect of Ménière’s rather than the MD as a whole.  I sometimes felt like a lost cause because I couldn’t ‘feel’ what he was explaining.  I know not everyone benefits the same from the therapy but I do remember beginning to think there was something wrong with me for not being able to be as receptive as he expected me to be.  So the course ended with me feeling worse than when it started.

Now a few years, after having read a few books about MD and CBT, like all of you I have devised some exercises which help me when I need to calm myself down or de-stress, i.e breathing exercise where I take a deep breath and count as I breathe out and do this for a total count of 10.  This helps calm me down as well helps me get  to sleep at night.  The other thing i do is give myself a “good talking to” sometimes to force myself to go out visiting or shopping with Hubble and when I feel full of MD symptoms and can barely function  because I know I will be ok and most likely won’t have a vertigo attack (and I don’t!).  I just have to tell myself I can do it and I will be ok. 

Harry I will definitely have a look at that book.  It sounds very interesting.

Linda

Offline milady

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Re: Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD
« Reply #4 on: Jun 27 2019, 07:54 PM »
'They' seem to think I may not have MD after all. The latest version is 'a balance problem on the left side, of unknown cause'. This is all very well, but when you live day to day with the possibility of random vertigo, (fortunately not usually lasting very long) with no obvious trigger, it can get you down. It would be very easy to say I'm not going to do this, or that, in case I go wobbly. From there one can head to 'better not go out' and before you know it you won't even get out of bed - which does no good either because sometimes the bed spins round.  ::) But sometimes it is hard to keep the 'what ifs' in check. It is a constant background niggle. It is isolating. You can't get places because you can't drive. You don't see people. There is little support apart from one's family and friends, and you don't want to drone on about it to them all the time.

How to maintain a sense of proportion? Well, I take a deep breath and tell myself it probably won't happen and head out of the door. It'll be fine, I tell myself as I get on the bike and head 'for the hills'. There is nothing wrong with my balance - all the tests came back as within normal parameters. One day, no doubt, my bluff will be called. Then I'll have to start all over again. Meanwhile, I try to have a plan. What will I do if the world takes off sideways? Is the phone fully charged? Who will you call for help? I carry a note with me of name address, emergency contact, etc on one side and 'VERTIGO' in big letters on the other. And I cross my fingers. ;)

Those of you with hearing problems - have you come across Next Generation Text? https://www.ngts.org.uk/
You have to register the phone number, to use the app. You can call emergency services through it too.

You might also be interested in https://what3words.com
If you need help from emergency services you can tell them exactly where you are - useful in a strange place.



Offline Gildo

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Re: Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD
« Reply #5 on: Jun 30 2019, 11:49 PM »
Thank you so much for your words of support. Your insight into a disease you ALLEGEDLY don't have... wtf and who tf made THAT decision   >:( and finally your invaluable INFORMATION.
Please God you get the diagnosis that is quite obviously overdue!!! Complete A/holes. Grrrrrr   >:(

Offline milady

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Re: Anxiety and lack of confidence with MD
« Reply #6 on: Jul 01 2019, 07:52 PM »
'They' haven't said categorically that I haven't got MD - there is always lot of vague muttering which is the medical profession's way of covering their a***s.  I don't have fluctuating deafness (just the ordinary severe hearing loss kind!) or fluctuating tinnitus (sometimes I notice it but most of the time it's just there in the background) or any feeling of fullness in the ear. So is it MD? It is 'atypical' MD? Is it something completely different? Who knows.  ;)

Glad the info on NGTs and What3words is of interest.

Nil carborundum!